Casper Van Dien

Dallas

Natasha Gregson Wagner

Nico

Rod Steiger

Dr. Frederick Van Helsing

Kim Cattrall

Ulrike

Natasha Lyonne

Rachel

Craig Ferguson

Richard

Natalya Andreychenko

Panthia

Robert Pastorelli

The Count

Gabriel Casseus

Time Bomb

Victor Togunde

Soda Pop

Jason Ross-Azikiwe

Pimp

Flex Alexander

Trigger

Udo Kier

Vincent

Cedrick Terrell

Li'l Monster

Boris Lee Krutonog

Concierge

Marco Hofschneider

Hans

Conchata Ferrell

Wanda, Nico's Mother

Brent Briscoe

George, Nico's Stepfather

John Fleck

Trick

Richard Elfman

Cop with Doughnut