


Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Len Cariou
Norm Archer

Steven Seagal
Cock Puncher

Larissa Laskin
Dana Dobbs

Ken Takemoto
Sensei

Don McManus
Dennis McCormick

Michael Bolton
Michael Bolton

Ahmed Ahmed
Ahmed

Brendan Fletcher
White Black Guy Tim

Daniel Dae Kim
Ivy Leaguer

Meredith Baxter
Cooking Show Chef

Jed Rees
Wizard Proteus

Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Ahmed B. Badran
Peruvian

Brian Powell
Typical Neighbor Husband

Scott Klace
Kip Kendall

Barbara Pilavin
Alzheimers Old Lady

Sandy Kenyon
Alzheimers Guy in Crowd

Orlando Seale
Producer

Erik Stolhanske
Producer

Sarah McElligott
Melissa Cherry
Tom Kuntz
Robert D. Siegel, Todd Hanson
Released